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It's better to swallow pride than blood.
squarlo:

givemeinternet:

5 minutes ago they were chasing the laser

i cant believe you fucking killed your cats with a laser you fucking monster

squarlo:

givemeinternet:

5 minutes ago they were chasing the laser

i cant believe you fucking killed your cats with a laser you fucking monster


thehuglife:

This is my new favorite non threatening threat


jerkidiot:

I’m doing an easter egg hunt for my cousins and someone is gettin a meatball


gay kid: hey i like your shoes
straight boy: haha thanks but im straight

brow:

"i cant sleep"

"why"

BITCH IF I FUCKING KNEW, I WOULD’VE FIXED IT ALREADY AND GONE THE FUCK TO BED LIKE????


telernarketing:

talking to someone and they go offline straight away

image


fedorabow:

Baljeet: Boo! Boo, I say!
Phineas: Baljeet?
Baljeet: Oh, I am not Baljeet. I am the scariest thing known to man: a failed math test.
Phineas: Yeah, right. We’re just gonna move on now.
Baljeet: You can run, but it won’t be to the college of your choice, I tell you!

I used to think that this was an exaggeration

I was wrong


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